Wet T Shirt Contest Pictures

Summer Solstice Challenge: It was wild, it was wet, it was wearying (did we ...

AVON / AVON LAKE, Ohio -- Tom Cull is standing in the dark. It's 4:30 a.m.

Pirate flags (no, not Pittsburgh) flank him. Two are flag-pole large. A smaller one commands, "Surrender the Booty."

He is wearing American flag shorts, which is a relief. Should we be mistaken for Somali pirates and intercepted by SEAL Team 6, maybe things will go down easier for us because of his shorts.

This is how the day begins. It ends 17 hours later in more darkness, with Cull and navigator Maureen Fallon Adler going farther off course as lightning flashes and water splashes across our bows in a race to find a safe port.

I should mention we were on a golf course.

What happened Tuesday between sunup and sundown of The Plain Dealer's Summer Solstice Golf Challenge (besides an Advil commercial) is a story of 58 holes, two weather systems, a called shot, some clubs seemingly borrowed from Bobby Jones' museum, actor Joe Pesci, 100 curious stares, a baboon's rear end and -- with any luck -- no less than the future of recreational golf as we know it.

• Cull is not only the appointed entertainment director -- he runs a "Cull of the Wild" outing in honor of his deceased parents -- he takes charge of the artificial lighting by pushing a solar landscape stake in the ground to help illuminate the tee box. It's 5:30 a.m.

Minutes earlier, the eight participants each turned over a small amount of cash to him for some friendly games to carry us through the longest day of summer. We've been around the guy less than an hour and we've learned something about the power of the subliminal. We've already surrendered the booty.

"We're trusting a guy with pirate flags," Fallon Adler says.

Pirate flags and a doctorate in physics, which means he's not only smarter than a sports columnist but a fifth grader, too. I suspect we will never see our money again. My bet is he'll use it to invent a golf ball that flies straight and we'll pay him even more for the technology at a later date.

From his cart on the first tee at Bob-O-Link Golf Course come the soft strands of the Eagles' "Desperado."

"It's hard to tell the night time from the day," Don Henley sings. "Why don't you come to your senses?"

Too late.

• Bryan Starosto hits the first of what will be a combined 2,371 strokes down the middle. And we are off, pirate flag stretching out behind Cull's cart.

Starosto is wearing a "Team Jake" shirt. His 18-month-old son has required three surgeries for a heart condition, the first at two days old. Besides his love of golf, he hopes to raise awareness about the good work done by the American Heart Association.

MORE Lovely Photos, this time from Lezbro and featuring Drag ...

You could argue that Seattle Pride celebrations kicked off on Friday night, June 17, because there were a ton of events going on and equal tons of people prowling the streets of Pike/Pine attending said events. Mr. Strangeways (I adore referring to myself in the third person) kept to the corner of 11th & Pike where he was called upon once again, to judge others as they should be judged. This time, it was at the monthly Lezbro event, produced by L.A. Kendall and Tony Burns at The Wildrose, and it was specifically for this month’s special pre-pride Lezbro event, “The Trannie Wet T-Shirt Contest” featuring a trio of local drag-u-tantes willing to be hosed down with a squirt gun by a willing Sister of Perpetual Indulgence and then judged by a trio of judges, including moi, on their performance skills post hosing.

Yes, I realize that NOTHING in that previous sentence makes any sense, but you had to be there…and many people were, to help benefit the wonderful folks and kids at Camp Ten Trees , the local summer camp for LGBTQ kids and the children of LGBTQ parents. The Sisters sold raffle tickets, (I won a CD of music), the lovely contestants/performers were Cherry Sur Bete, ArtStar and Jackie Hell , and the judging panel also included the puppy dog cute, Josh from Guerrilla Go-Go’s and the vivacious “On a Bet” . It was a night of magic and mystery and fake boobs being hosed down by nuns to the soothing beats of Lady Gaga. Oh, and there was a guy in a Beaver suit.

And, Jackie Hell ate her fake boob.

I never felt more Prideful of being a Gay!

All Photos: the amazingly lovely Amy Ferrell/Ginger Girl Photography.

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